I spent yesterday afternoon on my bike on my patio sweating like hell. If instead of Norseman I chose to race Lanzarote, I’d be set. I went through 4 water bottles in an hour and decided I had had enough. The “ride” was stupid but at the same time so nice to suffer. The bike is much quieter after I replaced the chain, and the next project is to replace the freehub body which I think I started fucking up during Wildflower last year but is now so chewed up that I can’t put a new cassette on it.
Still trying to figure out what draws me to Norseman. I think know that some of it is chasing the emotional high I got when I finished my first IM. I don’t know if it’s healthy (chasing that) or even possible, but there’s this fascination with attempting something that I could fail at. I’m not sure how I would feel if I failed (and I think, blindly now, that failure would be not getting a black shirt). It’s a risk, for sure. But on the flip side, there’s this sheer happiness, this sense of fulfillment, this sense of joy, that, while not difficult to get from other aspects of my life, is perhaps sweeter as this is totally dependent on myself (that’s a lot of commas). And maybe Norseman is different: I’d have to rely on a crew to accompany me to Norway, to fuel me throughout the day and go the last 5K with me (this is not to say that the people who traveled with me to my other races are any different, but my reliance on them was secondary to the race support).
With all that being said, I need to focus on this year and continuing to train and get faster. But I understand that this year is a building year (that doesn’t mean no PRs) and I’m really excited for Boston and maybe Norseman next year.
