From Latent To Talent

Recent ending to an email from my coach, wherein he said it’s hard to predict how I perform because I train inconsistently:

One thing is for sure however; you have talent and ability. Lots of it. The question is the same as it was after Portland when you were so excited about your race and result: Where do you want to go in the sport? What kind of commitment are you willing to make to get there? Serve and volley.

That’s the first I’ve heard that I have a lot of talent and ability. It’s scary. What do I want? What am I willing to give? These are questions I know I need to answer, but I’m scared. What if what I want is unattainable? Is the journey enough? Is the effort the reward? So many questions…

My brother, his girlfriend and I were having a conversation at dinner a couple of weeks ago and she asked which one of us was the better rower in school. My recollection is that I was slightly better; his is that he was. But what was clear was that I have more innate ability; he has the much stronger work ethic. This is not meant to be boastful; we were both in agreement on those two thoughts. If only there were a combination of the two of us, it’d probably be otherworldly successful in everything.

I’m quick to give up on workouts when they are really hard. FTP intervals? Hoooboy. If I’m not riding outside, I am likely to get bored and give up. To be honest, I was pretty bored towards the end of the ride on Saturday too. Part of it has to do with the fact that my legs are quite inflexible and this makes my back sore and gets me out of my happy place. But being outside forces me to continue on and get stronger. I think that’s why I am able to run so much more often than I am able to bike. And yet, this week, I was able to do them. I need to put faith in myself… as much faith as I put in others.

Speaking of running… I was out to dinner with my good friend Matt. His wife Emily (superfastie) showed up at the end and we talked about the race plan for a bit. She asked if I was running NYC. For the first time, I told her that I wasn’t, but I think I could qualify for NYC (<2:45 marathon, <1:19 half) within a couple of years. Emily believes I can too (or at least doesn’t think I can’t), which is all the more amazing. We talked about when I could possibly try: New Bedford Half in March, especially if I follow through and end up doing Two Oceans because that would put running a NYCQ at Boston out of the picture probably. Onwards…